Halloween in the office

I love Halloween. And I love Halloween in the office. At a company I used to work for, every Halloween kids would start parading through the office around 3:30. Children and adults alike were hopped up on candy. It was a total distraction and it was great. I looked forward to it every year.

Today is my first Halloween with the company I work for now. New company, new traditions. Earlier today we got an email from the owners inviting us on a hayride. A hayride with my coworkers in the middle of the day on a Tuesday in the suburbs. The part of the email that concerned me most was the fact that he called it a one-way ride. The trailer filled with hay is waiting outside.

Is this a trick? Are they hazing me?

The bright side a truly terrible disease

Today I thought of a few instances when having Congenital Insensitivity to Pain with Anhidrosis (CIPA) [a rare disease that prevents the feeling of pain, heat and cold] could actually be a good thing.

1. Fashionista female
Explanation: SHOES SHOES SHOES!
2. Marathon runner
Explanation: have you seen the movie "Prefontaine?" [I like the version with Jared Leto because Jordan Catalano's dreamy.]
3. Postal Carrier
Explanation: rain, snow, sleet and dog bites
4. Competitive eater (see website)
Explanation: it would take a heart attack to stop them from winning. Literally.
5. Kindergarten teacher
Explanation: that just sounds like a painful profession to me.

There you go! The bright side of a truly terrible disease.

To learn more about CIPA, check out wikipedia. And here's a story that will make you cry.

Pimp my DMV

I lost 70 minutes of my life today to the DMV of Missouri. Rather than bloviate (that's right - I'm not scared of the $.25 words) about their complete disregard for customer service and remarkable inefficiencies, I will share with you the highlight of my trip.

They have decided to start selling things at the Missouri DMV. Thankfully they are not selling firearms (demand would outweigh supply), but accessories for your vehicle. The list of items includes steering wheel covers, carwash supplies, floor mats and black light accessories.

Are they using taxpayer money to keep a stock of black light accessories in their breakroom? Why am I shocked?

You, Tyra Banks, are no Oprah

Okay, I know that sometimes Oprah Winfrey goes a little over the deep end. But, people, this is Oprah we are talking about. I think she and her audience members are allowed to freak out when she gives each of them a new car. Or cures diseases or whatever she is doing now on her show. But Tyra Banks is no Oprah.



What on earth could have caused these women to lose it like they did? Is it the fact that they were just given a gift valued at $100? If they had actually gone to work that day, those audience members could have EARNED that much money. And with that $100, they could have purchased something less atrocious than a rhinestoned tub of Vaseline.

(I can't believe I just typed the phase " rhinestoned tub of Vaseline.")

Heard from the cubes

“Yeah, she got around.”
– one of my coworkers, speaking of his grandma

Sweeties

Ben and I got home late on Sunday night from our wonderful honeymoon in Mexico. We were so glad to be back to our own bed, even if it’s size does pale in comparison to our bed at the resort. After traveling all day and dropping into bed around 2am (to rise only 5 hours later, mind you), you would think I would have slept hard. That was made impossible by the Milo-doggy between my feet and the Alex-kitty in my armpit, on my stomach or trying to spoon me. And I loved every minute of it.

An open apology from SallyAnn

Dear fans,
I have let you down. I know so many of you rely on me and I have neglected my responsibility to all of you. Please accept my heartfelt apology to all of those I have hurt by my complete disregard and lack of updates to my blog. I am deeply ashamed. I want you to know that I am seeking professional help and expect to fully recover to regular postings. Please respect my family’s privacy during this difficult time in our lives.

Truly,
SallyAnn